Although bad behaviour in the dating world is nothing new (my Grandma’s first fiance ghosted her), new terms for said bad behaviour keep cropping up. First ghosting. Then benching. Then breadcrumbing, stealthing, and hyping.
Now we have love bombing.
Inspired by Paul Thomas Bell’s post 5 Things I Look For In A Partner, I decided to make a little list of my own.
I know, I know. Be open. Don’t have a list. But in a world where most of our dating takes place online, on apps, or through brief meetings at events or on nights out, and you have to make fairly snap decisions about who to pursue, it helps to have some idea of who you are and what you’re looking for.
It’s the bane of every single person’s life. Well, one of the banes. Along with being on the receiving end of friends’ substandard matchmaking attempts, and seeing everyone’s engagement photos on Facebook while you’re preparing a meal for one. But throw a coin, and it’s guaranteed to hit someone who will come out with something along the lines of:
“Why do you hate being single? It’s SO MUCH FUN!”
“When you’re single it’s so much better- you can do whatever you want!”
“Relationships are sooo overrated!”
And it’s really annoying.
The explosion of dating apps is both a blessing and a curse. One the one hand, we’re now no longer fucked if we don’t find someone at school or university. No longer reduced to keeping your fingers crossed for an office romance, you now have access to unlimited amounts of singles looking to mingle at your fingertips.
However, increased choice and decreased consequences has also led to a decline in standards to behaviour. From ghosting to benching to hyping, new terms are invented every week to describe people’s shitty actions.
So to raise the tone, I’ve decided to do my bit for the dating scene, and put together a quick guide to dating etiquette.
“You should enjoy being single!”, people say. And I guess they’re right. I mean, you have to enjoy your life. There’s no point being miserable when you can be happy. I mean, you’ve got friends, hobbies, travel. A relationship isn’t the be all and end all. And at least if you’re single, you don’t have to shave your legs as often or spend time with someone else’s family.
Except, if you’ve never really dated anyone.
I don’t know why, but the quality on the apps at the moment is really poor. The quality on Tinder is usually a bit better than online dating due to lower barriers to entry, and I’ve met a couple of decent people off it this year, but since I started my new job and got back on it, it’s just been dreadful. I find myself swiping left to almost everyone. And those I do talk to end up fizzling off after a few messages.
But all of a sudden, this French guy who’d disappeared for a few days popped up asking to meet up for a drink. I’m not usually into Europeans, but looks-wise he was definitely my type, so I went into the date with a positive outlook.
Continue reading “The Guy Who Walked Out Halfway Through A Date To Go To IKEA”
Some of you may have been following this blog for a while (and hopefully enjoying my posts). Some of you may have just stumbled across this page and are wondering what the hell this is all about.
If you are a regular reader, you’re probably used to my hard-hitting dating features or bad date stories. But today, I decided to do something a little different and give some background on the girl behind the blog. And if you’re a new reader, well, this is probably a great place to start.
