Advances in technology mean that as long as you’re not weird over messages, it’s easier to get a first date than ever before. However, not all first dates are created equal. Unless you massively luck out, before you meet The One, you’ve got a hell of a lot of first dates to sift through who are well, not The One. So behold, here’s my quick guide to the main types of first dates you can expect to encounter.
Dating advice is always a minefield. Partly because you don’t need any form of qualifications before dishing out, and partly because people are so different that there’s rarely a “one size fits all” approach. I’ve written before about the bad dating advice that single people always hear. But today I decided to go down a slightly different route, and talk about the dating advice that hasn’t worked for me.
That isn’t to say it’s bad advice. For each point on the list, I know several people who have followed that advice and ended up in long-term serious relationships. I’m just saying that particular piece of advice hasn’t worked for me.
Some people with the aim of making more money, breaking out of the 9-5, or becoming the next Zoella. While those things would be great, even if you told me I’d never make a penny from this blog and my following would be capped at the number it is now, I would still blog. Because I love writing about dating. It’s something I think about around 90% of the time. So it gives me joy to formulate my thoughts into blog post, hear your feedback, and chat about it with strangers on Twitter.
But I got thinking. I’m actually a really bad dating blogger. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being self-deprecating about my writing style. But if you were looking for a dating writer and looked at my life, I’m probably the last person you’d pick.
Inspired by Paul Thomas Bell’s post 5 Things I Look For In A Partner, I decided to make a little list of my own.
I know, I know. Be open. Don’t have a list. But in a world where most of our dating takes place online, on apps, or through brief meetings at events or on nights out, and you have to make fairly snap decisions about who to pursue, it helps to have some idea of who you are and what you’re looking for.
Some of you may have been following this blog for a while (and hopefully enjoying my posts). Some of you may have just stumbled across this page and are wondering what the hell this is all about.
If you are a regular reader, you’re probably used to my hard-hitting dating features or bad date stories. But today, I decided to do something a little different and give some background on the girl behind the blog. And if you’re a new reader, well, this is probably a great place to start.
The problem with dating, is that it’s an art, not a science. It’s not a simple case of do XYZ and Q will happen. People are complicated, many-layered, unpredictable. You can do everything right and get it wrong, you can do everything wrong and get it right.
That said though, there are definitely things that you can do to up your odds, or at least, avoid wasting too much time on dickheads. But dating advice is not all given equal. Over the years, I’ve heard many pearls of wisdom, but there’s also been some absolutely atrocious dating advice pedaled out, some of which I ended up following, with disastrous consequences.
Some people seem fancy every other guy or girl they meet. These people effortlessly hop from one fling or relationship to the next, not because they’re particularly amazing, they just happen to like a lot of people. And fair play to them.
For others like me on the other hand, we don’t seem to fancy people as often. Maybe about one person per year. And once we leave education, that’s more like once every 2-3 years. It’s not that we have particularly high standards or obscure criteria. We just don’t often feel that elusive spark.