The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle wasn’t a book I’ve heard of before. It was published in 2006 and I don’t think it has a huge following in the UK. However, I was recommended it by Rachel from Twitter claiming that two of her friends had got engaged after reading it, and it seems to be the go-to dating book among the “trad life” part of Twitter, so I felt compelled to buy a copy and give it a review.
The book is a fairly comprehensive guide to dating; it doesn’t focus on one area or principle. It goes right from your attitude or “inner game”, to meeting men, all the way to cohabitation and marriage. Some of the advice can be applied to anyone, but the book is aimed at women dating men who are looking to get married.
The book is divided into X chapters, each being a nugget of advice you can incorporate into your dating life, for example “End friendships with ex-boyfriends”, and “Jump start your love life with a dating service”.
The book covers:
- Being “open”, and throwing out the idea of a “checklist”
- Dating with a positive attitude
- Where to meet men
- Encouraging men to ask you out
- How to act on dates
- Screening out the bad guys from the good guys
- The essence of attraction
- When to sleep with a guy for the first time
- Navigating arguments in relationships
- Whether to cohabitate, and how to broach the topic of marriage
The Surrendered Single is an all-round guide that goes through all the stages of dating. It covers a lot of the common pitfalls that women fall into, including holding out for an “ideal” partner rather than giving it a fair chance with the people they have available, dating unreliable men, or getting too hung up on minor annoyances, so I think most people could take at least something away from the book.
The book is aimed at women who are dating to find someone to settle down with and minimise being sexually used rather than women who are dating for the sake of dating or want to sleep with a lot of men, so if you find a lot of mainstream dating advice unrelatable, this could be the book for you.
To be honest, there’s not a lot of negative things I can say about The Surrendered Single. It is a little outdated, for example it doesn’t even mention dating apps. Despite the potential culture gap though, I think everything in the book can still be applied to the modern dating world.
However, there are a few things I feel the book could have delved into more. It would have been nice to have a few more suggestions on how to meet men, best places to go etc. It would also have been nice to have a bit more advice on how picky to be on dating sites/ apps- the book’s advice focuses around being “open”, but if I do that I just end up going on a tonne of bad dates so it would be great to hear more on how to screen out duds. Advice on how to flirt would also have been good!
Overall, The Surrendered Single is a good guide to dating, and great for anyone who’s trying to break out of a dating rut. Perhaps you haven’t dated for a while but you’d quite like to meet someone, or you have been struggling to find your “perfect” guy- this book could very well be the book that shifts you perspective and approach to bring about positive change.
You can buy The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle from Amazon.
Have you read The Surrendered Single? What did you think? Let me know in the comments!
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