Dating

How To Be Good In Bed

January 27, 2019

Since the good old days, when I first started going to house parties, drinking WKD, and my friends started becoming, to use that cringeworthy phrase, “sexually active”, being good in bed has always been something to aspire to, for the very least to avoid being the subject of mocking in the college cafeteria. Which makes sense. In a long-term relationship, trust, shared values, and the ability to compromise on a holiday destination are all great qualities, but sex is important too. But what makes someone good in bed? Obviously I’m not the best person to answer this question, so I decided instead to discover the solution through a very unscientific means- a Twitter poll. So read on, and discover how to be good in bed.

how to be good in bed

So What Makes Someone Good In Bed?

Experience

Experience- the one used by the “sex positive” crowd as a stick to beat people with. As the trope goes, everyone starts out as shit in bed, so we are all obligated to ditch our virginities at the earliest possible opportunity and sleep around as much as possible if we wish to find love.

You can tell by my tone, that of course I can’t stand this mentality. However, perhaps there is some truth to it? I personally wouldn’t go to their extent, but there is a logic in that the more times you do something, the better you become at it.

does experience make someone good in bed

The mixed results of this poll show that although experience does help, it’s not he be all and end all. In my opinion, it varies. Arguably, a varied sex life with one person over a long period of time can be more beneficial in terms of skill than a string of one night stands. I think also for experience to be worthwhile in terms of performance, you have to learn from said experience- develop from feedback, and so on. I’m sure we can think of one person who seems to make the same mistakes over and over in their dating life but never seems to learn- the same probably applies to sex.

“I think experience is good- but you can be a virgin and better than someone with years of experience- IF you pay attention to your partner and do your research.” – My friend Mike

Not experienced? Worry not, there are other factors.

Technique

“It’s not what you have, but what you do with it”, the saying goes. Or perhaps it’s “It’s not how big it is, but what you do with it”. I can’t remember. But either way, is it possible to master a set of tricks to make you a master between the sheets?

how to be good in bed

The results of my very unscientific Twitter poll have shown that yes, there are. So how does one go about developing ones technique? Well, points 1 and 4 of this post could be good starting points. But I think there’s also a benefit to doing a bit of reading around. I was a geeky teenager and didn’t get a boyfriend until I was 20, which left me a little behind in the bedroom department, so I just used a few techniques I’d read in the sex pages in Glamour (although if you’re a family member reading this, I never actually used any said techniques of course).

Passion

And of course, what’s sex without passion? A smouldering glance across a crowded room. Fiery banter with a hint of innuendo. Sensual kissing. And touching. You get the idea. Without that red-hot passion, sex is just baby-making.

what makes someone good in bed

“The best sex for me is when my heads involved and I really like someone” – @findaprince

It seems my very unscientific Twitter poll agrees, with my followers rating passion as the highest out of all the options. Which makes sense. I mean even with the best technique in the world, how good is sex going to be if you’re not actually attracted to each other? And if you absolutely fancy the pants off someone, getting naked and exploring each other’s bodies couldn’t really be bad?

Could it?

Communication

Paying attention to someone’s responses, asking questions, and a willingness to learn. It’s just considerate, you know.

“Responsiveness. Being in tune with the person you’re with. Adjusting what you do based on the response you get until you get things just right. Oh yeah, that’s perfect!” – SharpSweetBella

And it seems my very unscientific Twitter poll agrees with me. Although not to the same extent as some of the others. Which makes sense. I mean done to extreme, it could sound more like a driving lesson than a romantic encounter.

A Massive Cock

And finally, does bigger mean better?

how to be good in bed

According to my very unscientific Twitter poll, no. So worry not, less well-endowed male readers. It’s about what you do with it after all.

What do you think makes someone good in bed? Let me know in the comments!

  • Reply
    The (Formerly) Unfortunate Virgin
    January 27, 2019 at 7:31 pm

    Not snoring helps too.

  • Reply
    vividual
    January 28, 2019 at 9:43 am

    Enjoyed reading this! I personally agree with the results of the poll. It‘s mainly about passion, communication and a bit of technique. Size doesn’t matter as long as you can feel something at all haha. The worst times are the ones with people you‘re not attracted to or who don’t care about you and just do their own thing. It just has to work somehow or it‘s all lost.

    • Reply
      aliceeriley
      February 2, 2019 at 3:47 pm

      Yeah if there’s no attraction there’s no point IMO, being selfish can probably be bad too

  • Reply
    Hol
    January 28, 2019 at 11:12 am

    Absolutely loved it! I think it’s all about mental attraction and also a bit of self positivity, if you say you don’t find this thing attractive you probably won’t. My own personal opinion.
    Also loving that the technique poll is on 69 :’) teehee! Brilliant post x

    • Reply
      aliceeriley
      February 2, 2019 at 3:47 pm

      Hahaha I didn’t notice that!

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