Thoughts

Dating Someone With Different Political Views

“Swipe left if you voted leave”

“Don’t message me if you voted for Trump”

“No Tories”

“No SJWs”

Political activism is on the rise. Log onto social media and it seems like everyone has an opinion. Scan through people’s dating app bios and it appears when it comes to finding a match, those opinions matter. But should they?

dating someone with different political views

I’m a pretty political person. I’ve got my views and I’m passionate about them. I also think I’m always right. When it comes to politics, and even the smaller things, right down to dinner vs. drinks on a first date. I get frustrated that people don’t realise I’m right and stew on it for ages. Even though it’s not that big a deal. So when I meet people who disagree with me, I have to fight back the urge to be like “NO YOU’RE WRONG!”. And when I meet people who agree with me, I feel like I’ve met my fellow traveller because SOMEONE ELSE IS RIGHT. So if I had to write a list of qualities my ideal partner would have, shared political views would be on there. And I’m sure others would feel the same.

However, Cupid doesn’t always care about your list. Shared political views are great, but ultimately you don’t fancy someone for their love of Jeremy Corbyn. You fancy someone for their looks and personality. You could meet someone you could enthuse about your favourite political YouTuber with for hours with, but you just don’t fancy them. They’re a friend. Then you could be passionately attracted to someone who it turns out disagrees with you. So what to do?

Ultimately, my views on this are half and half. Ideally, I’d like to date someone who loves Lauren Southern as much as I do. However, I wouldn’t turn down Mr. Perfect-in-every-other-way just because he voted for a different political party to me. Sometimes, a bit of disagreement can even make for a good debate and make things more interesting. On the other hand though, I find some of the SJW types are so different to me, that beyond being civil for the sake of shared space it would be hard to build any sort of relationship at all. A lot of it also comes down to how someone expresses their views- a bit of dissent is healthy, calling someone a Nazi/ racist etc. for differing opinions is just a headache.

It also depends on the type of disagreement. I think disagreements relating to more “political politics”- for example the economy, business, taxation, immigration, and so on- are easier to overcome than “social politics”- i.e. modern feminism, sex, and so forth. For example, I feel I’d be incompatible with a lot of the male feminist types as they tend to have the “Sexual liberation is great! Slut-shaming is bad!” mentality- which usually results in judgement in a direction that doesn’t work in my favour. I feel I’d need someone with compatible views in regards to relationships, sex, marriage, and monogamy in order for it to work. Although it’s worth mentioning that you shouldn’t read too much into labels. For example, some say they wouldn’t date a feminist based on the “WHITE CIS HET MEN ARE TRASH” types we see in the media and online, however someone could easily call themselves a feminist and not behave like this.

Ultimately, each case is unique. While you need some level of compatibility to connect, don’t immediately rule someone out on political labels. Life doesn’t always fall into stereotype, and sometimes someone who’s not what you were thought you were looking for initially can be right for you on a deeper level.

Would you date someone with different political views? Let me know in the comments!

29 thoughts on “Dating Someone With Different Political Views

  1. This has really made me think, thank you!

    My husband and I have different political views in some areas. He is more liberal than he thinks he is and I’m more conservative than I think I am, generally, but in England we generally vote for the same party and have similar opinions. When it comes to topics like gun control or politics in other countries, we do have differing views. However, we both like debating and honestly it’s not a dealbreaker for us.

    I wouldn’t necessarily rule out dating someone with views, because people’s views can change over time as well. You could begin dating someone whose views align perfectly with yours and within ten years one or the other of you could have changed drastically. However, there are some areas that would be a dealbreaker: if a potential partner didn’t believe in gay rights, for example.

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  2. I would date someone with different political views. I actually did. it is great to hear others’ opinions, challenge yours or take a step back. Knowing what the other side thinks is also the best way to build your arguments ahah! xx corinne

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  3. Ah this is such a tough subject! Iโ€™m the same as you and am super opinionated, I think Iโ€™d find it really tough to be with someone who had completely different political views to me! Luckily I donโ€™t haha!x

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  4. Such an intresting subject, I am dating someone who has some different views than me, mainly the fact they don’t care about it and never vote which drives me up the wall but tbh our relationship is so much more than our political views.

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

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  5. I don’t follow politic that much but I guess it may be challenging someone with different views as it can create conflict as it would mean that both people have different views, ways of living and opinions.

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  6. Oooohhhh I LOVE this post! I agree, it’s tricky. I’m the same, I’m a political person (I mean I study politics haha), and I’m very opinionated. But I’m also quite sympathetic and open minded. I think core values would always have to be the same for me. So personally, say if I were american, I just wouldn’t be able to date a Trump supporter, because his key principles go against so much of what I think is right. I think in terms of politics and core moral values, there needs to be far more in common than in disagreement, otherwise it can be very difficult. Such a great piece! x

    whatevawears.co.uk

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  7. I could so long as there is common ground. Even the most hardened Tories and Labour activists realise there are factions within parties that would mean MPs from both sides of the aisle would have some common ground. If they do, so can we.

    Saying that, I couldn’t date a narrow-minded xenophobe or a racist from the right or a militant feminist from the left even though my political opinions are on the left. I think it surprises some people that anyone can be left wing and anti-feminist.

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  8. I think it’s definitely subjective and depends on each person. Some people can ignore the differences, but for some it’s too much! My boyfriend and I probably couldn’t be more different politically and he often makes fun of a lot of my beliefs. It does really infuriate me (I’m always right too lol) but I generally just avoid political conversations with him. I love him even though we don’t agree on everything!

    Alice x | invocati

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  9. I think, I wouldn’t mind. I have dated both a tory and labour supporter in the past, a communist and someone who had now idea what was going on with the parties nor didn’t care.

    My own political views are quite all over the place too and I wouldn’t really label myself as just one thing. Labels are wrong.

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  10. I don’t think I could date a non-atheist, personally. I think we’d clash too much and if it came to a time we decided to get married, I can’t see most Christians not wanting a church wedding. Most men would be happy to go along with it, but my lack of religion is important enough to me that I refuse to make vows to a deity I don’t actually believe in. It would cheapen the vows. We may as well make our vows to the Teletubbies for all the meaning it would have for me, and just as absurd.

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