It’s OK To Hate Being Single

It’s the bane of every single person’s life. Well, one of the banes. Along with being on the receiving end of friends’ substandard matchmaking attempts, and seeing everyone’s engagement photos on Facebook while you’re preparing a meal for one. But throw a coin, and it’s guaranteed to hit someone who will come out with something along the lines of:

“Why do you hate being single? It’s SO MUCH FUN!”

“When you’re single it’s so much better- you can do whatever you want!”

“Relationships are sooo overrated!”

And it’s really annoying.

it's OK to hate being single

OK, I get it. Some people love their jobs. For some people, their career is their main focus right now and they don’t want a relationship to limit their working hours or business travel opportunities. Some people have a large circle of friends who are all single. Some people want to go clubbing and party all the time. Some people don’t want to date, period. Some people just enjoy dating around. Some people enjoy meeting new people. Some people like to sleep around. Some people go on 3 dates a week with charming, interesting people, and don’t want to get tied down. Some people fancy people easily, but don’t often develop feelings, so like having a lot of fun flings. Some people would like to date someone casually, but not feel obligated to exclusivity or to attend their birthday dinner. Some people don’t want to feel obligated to see someone regularly, and just see friends as and when. Some people don’t want to spend time with someone else’s family or friends, or attend other people’s weddings or events. Some people enjoy living alone. Some people have a future in mind, and that future involves not having relationships, not settling down with one person, or not having children. Some people’s idea of a good time is going to Magaluf and bringing a different person back each night. Some people’s idea is living alone and dedicating their life to a hobby they love.

But some people hate their jobs. Some people think their jobs are OK, but it’s a paycheck, not a passion. Some people don’t have many friends, or have friends who are all in relationships, married, or have kids. Some people hate clubbing. Some people don’t enjoy dating. Some people have social anxiety, and get nervous meeting strangers. Some people don’t like small talk. First date usually ends up being drinks, and some people don’t like alcohol. Some people don’t want to have casual sex. Some people keep meeting weirdos. Some people keep meeting people who are nice enough, but no-one they really fancy. Some people keep meeting douchebags. Some people are all-or-nothing daters- they don’t often fancy people, but when they do, they fall hard. Some people want someone they can see on demand. Some people want to be someone’s priority- someone who, if it was their birthday, their birthday dinner would come FIRST and everything else gets dropped. Some people want a plus one to take to weddings. Some people struggle to cover the cost of living alone. Some people have a future in mind, and that future involves having relationships, getting married, or having children. Some people’s idea of a good time is having a night in with someone they love, ordering a takeaway, and watching Harry Potter. Some people’s idea of a good time is making papier mache animals with a 5 year old and a 7 year old.

It’s OK to love being single. It’s OK to hate being single. It’s OK to think being single is OK, but you’d rather be in a relationship. It’s OK to feel lonely sometimes. It’s OK get horny sometimes. It’s OK to feel sad and frustrated with dating. Try not to get dragged into dicksand (or vaginasand). If you’re feeling really low, do something else- see friends, or do a hobby you enjoy. If you don’t have any decent friends or hobbies, that’s something you need to work on outside your love life. But don’t feel like you have to be living some kind of Sex And The City lifestyle. It’s OK to have a moan sometimes. Because let’s face it, sometimes being single is hard work.

Do you love being single- or hate it? Let me know in the comments!

Follow:

28 Comments

  1. When I was single, I loved it and I hated it. loved it coz I was free to see any guy I wanted but also hated it coz I probably wanted something more stable. There is so much pressure on being in a relationship people don’t want to be single and when they are, happily coupled people are putting pression on their single friends to have as much fun as possible; But yeah, you’re allowed to hate being single

    • August 21, 2017 / 7:46 pm

      That’s true, I find coupled up friends can try and live vicariously through you!

  2. August 20, 2017 / 7:12 pm

    I’m almost 20 and I’ve been single my whole life. haha Although I had crushes I’ve never had an actual boyfriend. I wouldn’t say that I love it or hate it. Of course that some days can be hard but I always find positive things in being single. I know that I can always rely on myself and I know what I want from a relationship and I don’t want to have boyfriend just for sake of having it.

    • August 21, 2017 / 7:51 pm

      I was exactly the same as you when I was 20- but nowhere near as positive!

  3. Kayleigh Zara
    August 20, 2017 / 7:19 pm

    I love this! I prefer being in a relationship but I loved being single because I had so much time for myself – I could be really selfish. Being with someone else just makes me so happy x

    Kayleigh Zara ๐ŸŒฟwww.kayleighzaraa.com

    • August 21, 2017 / 7:53 pm

      Yeah you can definitely be more selfish, but a relationship is always better!

  4. Becca Michelle
    August 20, 2017 / 7:28 pm

    This is such lovely advice, I connected to this a lot because I’ve been single my entire life.

    • August 21, 2017 / 7:56 pm

      I’m pretty much the same.

  5. August 20, 2017 / 7:29 pm

    Ah I love love love this! In reality I’m not living as you say, a ‘sex and the city lifestyle’ and I’m also not living that paradoxically unattractive yet attractive bridget jones lifestyle (if that makes sense? Bc I always thought Bridget was pretty cool lol!) The other thing I hate is people trying to set you up! nope nope nopeeee I find it sooo patronising! argh I could go on!

    whatevawears.co.uk

    • August 21, 2017 / 7:57 pm

      If you have decent friends a set up should be fine, but so many people go waaaay off the mark!

  6. August 20, 2017 / 7:32 pm

    Yes! I’m so glad someone has finally said this! There are times I absolutely hate being single because I just feel so alone and pretty worthless. Don’t get me wrong there are times I enjoy being alone and having my own space but sometimes being single sucks!
    Robyn // http://www.midnightandlace.co.uk

    • August 21, 2017 / 8:10 pm

      I feel the same, after a while it really knocks your confidence.

  7. August 20, 2017 / 7:32 pm

    I love being single but I think it’s because I’m a single parent. You nailed my perfect night in one – Just me and the kid, a takeaway and Harry Potter. What I do hate is people constantly telling me I need a man in my life, asking if I think I’ll ever meet any anyone. For now I’m more than happy and I just wish people could be happy with that xx

    Jay | jayxoblogs.com

    • August 21, 2017 / 8:13 pm

      Aww yeah I guess being a single parent is great in that sense- you never get lonely!

  8. August 20, 2017 / 7:35 pm

    I love being single and have single for practically my while life so I guess I’m used to being on my own rather than in a relationship! But I also understand that not everyone feels the same way as me x

    Ashleigh | http://ashleighwrites.co.uk

    • August 21, 2017 / 8:16 pm

      I’m the same as you- but I hate it!

  9. August 20, 2017 / 8:34 pm

    I love this post! I love & hate being single. I love being single as I tend to enjoy being by my self at times and I really enjoy meeting new people wether that be talking to new boys etc. But I hate being single because I do feel there’s so much pressure around being in a relationship which can be hard. I’ll defiantly be sharing this post! Thank you thank you thank you. Xo

    Elle – https://ellegracedeveson.wordpress.com/

    • August 21, 2017 / 8:22 pm

      Yeah I get what you mean with the pressure- as a woman I feel like there’s a time limit on settling down. Thanks for sharing!

  10. August 21, 2017 / 7:21 am

    I completely understand who said they loved and hated it at the same time. When my marriage broke down, I hated it because as a man pushing 40 I felt at a loss. My ex also took away any validation I might have felt that somebody wanted me. She cheated and said it was my fault. She was also a control freak who sulked, threw her toys out of the proverbial pram and stamped her feet when she couldn’t get her own way. Therefore I loved it too because it meant I was free to pursue whatever I wanted without her turning into a toddler over it.

    • August 21, 2017 / 8:26 pm

      Yes, being single is always better than being in a bad relationship.

  11. August 21, 2017 / 8:19 pm

    Most times, I like it. There are rare times where I don’t – when I see loved up couples and also when winter comes.

    Elise x

    • August 21, 2017 / 8:27 pm

      Yeah Christmas is the worst for me- we see family and my cousins around my age are married/ cohabiting so I get really depressed.

  12. August 22, 2017 / 2:32 pm

    I used to hate it and now I’m ok with it. I have my own ways of doing things and I have my blog and work so not a lot of free time. But then again sometimes I would like to have someone still but I’m ok with it now haha

    • August 22, 2017 / 8:01 pm

      Yeah I’m the same, I find I have to try and work in time to date though, so I feel like if I was in a relationship I’d have more free time!

      • August 22, 2017 / 8:05 pm

        Oh yeah Deffo. Dates I don’t like! I think it’s a waste of time๐Ÿ™ˆ you could spend this time meeting your friends family or work on your blog.. This is so wrong I know…

  13. August 30, 2017 / 8:51 am

    People always want to have things they do not have. Like me, when I am single, I hate single and want to find someone to love. But when I am in love, sometimes, I want to be single, because I will have more time to get along with myself

    • August 30, 2017 / 4:44 pm

      Yeah, I guess the grass is always greener!

Leave a Reply