It’s the bane of every single person’s life. Well, one of the banes. Along with being on the receiving end of friends’ substandard matchmaking attempts, and seeing everyone’s engagement photos on Facebook while you’re preparing a meal for one. But throw a coin, and it’s guaranteed to hit someone who will come out with something along the lines of:
“Why do you hate being single? It’s SO MUCH FUN!”
“When you’re single it’s so much better- you can do whatever you want!”
“Relationships are sooo overrated!”
And it’s really annoying.
OK, I get it. Some people love their jobs. For some people, their career is their main focus right now and they don’t want a relationship to limit their working hours or business travel opportunities. Some people have a large circle of friends who are all single. Some people want to go clubbing and party all the time. Some people don’t want to date, period. Some people just enjoy dating around. Some people enjoy meeting new people. Some people like to sleep around. Some people go on 3 dates a week with charming, interesting people, and don’t want to get tied down. Some people fancy people easily, but don’t often develop feelings, so like having a lot of fun flings. Some people would like to date someone casually, but not feel obligated to exclusivity or to attend their birthday dinner. Some people don’t want to feel obligated to see someone regularly, and just see friends as and when. Some people don’t want to spend time with someone else’s family or friends, or attend other people’s weddings or events. Some people enjoy living alone. Some people have a future in mind, and that future involves not having relationships, not settling down with one person, or not having children. Some people’s idea of a good time is going to Magaluf and bringing a different person back each night. Some people’s idea is living alone and dedicating their life to a hobby they love.
But some people hate their jobs. Some people think their jobs are OK, but it’s a paycheck, not a passion. Some people don’t have many friends, or have friends who are all in relationships, married, or have kids. Some people hate clubbing. Some people don’t enjoy dating. Some people have social anxiety, and get nervous meeting strangers. Some people don’t like small talk. First date usually ends up being drinks, and some people don’t like alcohol. Some people don’t want to have casual sex. Some people keep meeting weirdos. Some people keep meeting people who are nice enough, but no-one they really fancy. Some people keep meeting douchebags. Some people are all-or-nothing daters- they don’t often fancy people, but when they do, they fall hard. Some people want someone they can see on demand. Some people want to be someone’s priority- someone who, if it was their birthday, their birthday dinner would come FIRST and everything else gets dropped. Some people want a plus one to take to weddings. Some people struggle to cover the cost of living alone. Some people have a future in mind, and that future involves having relationships, getting married, or having children. Some people’s idea of a good time is having a night in with someone they love, ordering a takeaway, and watching Harry Potter. Some people’s idea of a good time is making papier mache animals with a 5 year old and a 7 year old.
It’s OK to love being single. It’s OK to hate being single. It’s OK to think being single is OK, but you’d rather be in a relationship. It’s OK to feel lonely sometimes. It’s OK get horny sometimes. It’s OK to feel sad and frustrated with dating. Try not to get dragged into dicksand (or vaginasand). If you’re feeling really low, do something else- see friends, or do a hobby you enjoy. If you don’t have any decent friends or hobbies, that’s something you need to work on outside your love life. But don’t feel like you have to be living some kind of Sex And The City lifestyle. It’s OK to have a moan sometimes. Because let’s face it, sometimes being single is hard work.
Do you love being single- or hate it? Let me know in the comments!