I don’t know why, but the quality on the apps at the moment is really poor. The quality on Tinder is usually a bit better than online dating due to lower barriers to entry, and I’ve met a couple of decent people off it this year, but since I started my new job and got back on it, it’s just been dreadful. I find myself swiping left to almost everyone. And those I do talk to end up fizzling off after a few messages.
But all of a sudden, this French guy who’d disappeared for a few days popped up asking to meet up for a drink. I’m not usually into Europeans, but looks-wise he was definitely my type, so I went into the date with a positive outlook.
Ended up getting to the bar about 10 minutes late, but luckily he had’t arrived yet. About 10 minutes later- he arrived. First impressions- he was wearing an old coat over a shirt, jeans and trainers. I’m not picky about how a guy dresses, but it annoys me a bit if they come in too scruffy on a first date- I mean I know the dating market is skewed in their favour but there’s no need to rub it in my face. He seemed a bit quiet for my tastes but not socially awkward, and looks wise definitely still my type.
We bought drinks and found a table upstairs. Conversations was OK, we discussed work, living arrangements and the like. When we had a “mock date” to work out where I’m going wrong with guys, my friend said I come across as quiet, so I was making extra effort to be bubbly and outgoing, and I felt like it was going well. He mentioned at one point that he was going to IKEA after this and getting dinner from their food hall; I thought this seemed a bit odd as I didn’t know IKEA stayed open that late, but I didn’t read too much into it.
We’d both finished our first cocktail, and I was going to offer to buy the second round.
“Well I need to go to IKEA now, so shall we leave?”
I looked at my watch. We’d been there just under 40 minutes. I wasn’t sure how to react, so just kind of went along with it.
“We’ll stay in touch”, he said.
We walked towards the station together, until he had to go a different direction to get to IKEA. He kissed me on the cheek and left.
I wasn’t sure if he wasn’t interested, or was just misguided and thought slotting in a 40 minute date before an IKEA trip was standard practice.
Until at the instruction of one of my Twitter followers, I texted him asking him if he could pick up a virserum frame for my friend, and he never replied. So I guess he just wasn’t interested.
I mean on the one hand I’d got to get home a bit earlier, have something to eat and watch a couple of YouTube videos before going to bed. And it saved me having to sit through a second date “just to make sure”. But I mean, bloody hell. Is this what modern dating has come to now? Has technology created such a disposability culture that if you’re not sold in the first half hour it’s perfectly acceptable to just get up and leave? Whatever happened to oh you know, manners?
And I got thinking. Did I do something wrong? I mean, I’m not a supermodel, but I feel like I’m attractive enough that my company is more appealing than ready-to-assemble furniture. But maybe I’m getting old! Maybe I’m losing my looks! Or maybe my attempts to be fun and chatty failed and I just wasn’t charismatic enough for him to sit out the date.
But thinking about it, the one guy I thought I might actually like this year was actually enthusiastic (unfortunately he was just visiting London from up north so we didn’t meet again). And the guy I managed to get to date 3 with was hot and a year younger than me (sadly no spark though). Yet the guys who show up in gym/ hiking clothes don’t respond to my “nice to meet you” text, or walk out halfway through the date. So maybe the whole concept of “leagues” is bullshit, and that guy was just a bit of an idiot.
What do you think? Have you ever walked out of a date, or been walked out on? Let me know in the comments!