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The Guy Who Walked Out Halfway Through A Date To Go To IKEA

August 9, 2017

I don’t know why, but the quality on the apps at the moment is really poor. The quality on Tinder is usually a bit better than online dating due to lower barriers to entry, and I’ve met a couple of decent people off it this year, but since I started my new job and got back on it, it’s just been dreadful. I find myself swiping left to almost everyone. And those I do talk to end up fizzling off after a few messages.

But all of a sudden, this French guy who’d disappeared for a few days popped up asking to meet up for a drink. I’m not usually into Europeans, but looks-wise he was definitely my type, so I went into the date with a positive outlook.

the guy who walked out halfway through a date to go to ikea

Ended up getting to the bar about 10 minutes late, but luckily he had’t arrived yet. About 10 minutes later- he arrived. First impressions- he was wearing an old coat over a shirt, jeans and trainers. I’m not picky about how a guy dresses, but it annoys me a bit if they come in too scruffy on a first date- I mean I know the dating market is skewed in their favour but there’s no need to rub it in my face. He seemed a bit quiet for my tastes but not socially awkward, and looks wise definitely still my type.

We bought drinks and found a table upstairs. Conversations was OK, we discussed work, living arrangements and the like. When we had a “mock date” to work out where I’m going wrong with guys, my friend said I come across as quiet, so I was making extra effort to be bubbly and outgoing, and I felt like it was going well. He mentioned at one point that he was going to IKEA after this and getting dinner from their food hall; I thought this seemed a bit odd as I didn’t know IKEA stayed open that late, but I didn’t read too much into it.

We’d both finished our first cocktail, and I was going to offer to buy the second round.

“Well I need to go to IKEA now, so shall we leave?”

I looked at my watch. We’d been there just under 40 minutes. I wasn’t sure how to react, so just kind of went along with it.

“We’ll stay in touch”, he said.

We walked towards the station together, until he had to go a different direction to get to IKEA. He kissed me on the cheek and left.

I wasn’t sure if he wasn’t interested, or was just misguided and thought slotting in a 40 minute date before an IKEA trip was standard practice.

Until at the instruction of one of my Twitter followers, I texted him asking him if he could pick up a virserum frame for my friend, and he never replied. So I guess he just wasn’t interested.

I mean on the one hand I’d got to get home a bit earlier, have something to eat and watch a couple of YouTube videos before going to bed. And it saved me having to sit through a second date “just to make sure”. But I mean, bloody hell. Is this what modern dating has come to now? Has technology created such a disposability culture that if you’re not sold in the first half hour it’s perfectly acceptable to just get up and leave? Whatever happened to oh you know, manners?

And I got thinking. Did I do something wrong? I mean, I’m not a supermodel, but I feel like I’m attractive enough that my company is more appealing than ready-to-assemble furniture. But maybe I’m getting old! Maybe I’m losing my looks! Or maybe my attempts to be fun and chatty failed and I just wasn’t charismatic enough for him to sit out the date.

But thinking about it, the one guy I thought I might actually like this year was actually enthusiastic (unfortunately he was just visiting London from up north so we didn’t meet again). And the guy I managed to get to date 3 with was hot and a year younger than me (sadly no spark though). Yet the guys who show up in gym/ hiking clothes don’t respond to my “nice to meet you” text, or walk out halfway through the date. So maybe the whole concept of “leagues” is bullshit, and that guy was just a bit of an idiot.

What do you think? Have you ever walked out of a date, or been walked out on? Let me know in the comments!

 

 

  • Reply
    Corinne & Kirsty 🌸 (@corinnekirsty)
    August 9, 2017 at 7:11 pm

    This is so so weird. What a weird guy. Why would he do that? Like don’t go on a date if you’re gonna leave to go to Ikea. I have never been in such a situation or put someone in that situation. I have never used dating apps so i had always spoken face to face before going on a date. But what a weird guy this french guy

    • Reply
      Alice
      August 9, 2017 at 7:21 pm

      Yeah haven’t experienced it before but apparently it’s quite common.

  • Reply
    The Emma Edit
    August 9, 2017 at 7:21 pm

    This post reminds me of a section in cosmo/glamour magazine (not sure which), where people send in their date stories 🙈. I can’t believe someone would do that! 😯

    • Reply
      Alice
      August 9, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      Yeah there’s a “bad date” section in Cosmopolitan, I should totally try and get a few of mine featured on there!

  • Reply
    lifeasloismay
    August 9, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    That is such a bizarre reason to leave a date, or if he genuinely needed to go wouldn’t he postpone it or reschedule a date if he was in a rush? I would have the same reaction to you and be messaging my friends about it! I have never been walked out on of a date but I wouldn’t know what to do.
    Lois x
    http://www.lifeasloismay.wordpress.com

    • Reply
      Alice
      August 9, 2017 at 7:30 pm

      I think he booked it s he’d have an excuse to walk out if he wasn’t feeling it!

  • Reply
    A Love Affair with Beauty
    August 9, 2017 at 7:27 pm

    Ikea!! That is the oddest thing ever. You really don’t need that kind of confusion in your life haha. He could have at least invited you on the trip to Ikea so you could stock up on blog props!
    It’s true what they say though the right person is out there it just takes time and when you do he won’t leave to go do his evening shopping. xx

    • Reply
      Alice
      August 9, 2017 at 7:30 pm

      Haha, this comment made me smile!

  • Reply
    rachel louise 🐰🌻 (@kyvbey)
    August 9, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    That guy sounds like a loser, you definitely had a lucky escape! I’ve never heard such a weird excuse. At least you got home a bit earlier!

    Rachel | kyvbey.blogspot.com

    • Reply
      Alice
      August 9, 2017 at 7:31 pm

      That’s true, in a way it was a blessing.

  • Reply
    ellegracedeveson
    August 9, 2017 at 7:54 pm

    I’ve never been in a similar situation so I genuinely don’t know how I’d react to that! That’s so strange🙊 Where are his manners? Ive had my fair share of rubbish guy chats etc but I’ve never walked out on a date, I couldn’t as I’d feel so guilty ahaha. Let’s hope for better dates in the future for us both *fingers crossed* lots of love lovely Xo

    Elle – https://ellegracedeveson.wordpress.com/

  • Reply
    L. Rorschach
    August 9, 2017 at 8:25 pm

    That is bizarre! He should have mentioned his evening plans to you before your date so you at least knew what to expect… or he even could have said, “I have plans for later that night and only have an hour… but I’d still love to meet for a quick drink and meet.”

    This reminds me of my date loooong ago with Solar Man. After a lovely early dinner, he said, “I’ve gotta go. I’m meeting my friends at a museum event.”

    I was really taken aback. When I schedule a date, I don’t schedule anything else after the date unless absolutely necessary… and, if so, I always tell my date beforehand.

  • Reply
    Ife Lawrence
    August 9, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Oh thats shocking!! I’m sorry to hear that! Just makes you think, what happened to good old manners?! Anyway, its his loss, and a blessing in disguise for you! X

    • Reply
      Alice
      August 11, 2017 at 9:12 pm

      I know, I think people get ruder and ruder as time goes on.

  • Reply
    Amy
    August 9, 2017 at 9:35 pm

    He seemed like a bit of an odd guy, you’re probably better off! But this is an excellent story to tell so you got something out of it xx

    • Reply
      Alice
      August 11, 2017 at 9:12 pm

      Very true!

  • Reply
    CUCH
    August 10, 2017 at 7:24 am

    Whatever happened to oh you know, manners?

    A strange excuse, but marginally better than bolting while you were in the toilet, I guess.

    • Reply
      Alice
      August 11, 2017 at 9:12 pm

      Haha, yeah I guess it could have bee worse!

  • Reply
    pratseek
    August 10, 2017 at 12:46 pm

    well he got you into thinking or rather doubting about yourself..You are also intrigued

  • Reply
    Joseph K.
    August 11, 2017 at 7:55 am

    Peut-être était-il un génie. Je pense que beaucoup d’artistes et génies sont au peu fous. L’amour fou – c’est la vie!

  • Reply
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  • Reply
    citybrandsblog
    September 29, 2017 at 11:32 am

    As you’ve said Ikea was probably his excuse to walk out. It is very rude of him. At least he didn’t waste more of your time. As my aunt always says ”you’re going to meet a lot of frogs until you find your prince” 🙂

    • Reply
      Alice
      October 1, 2017 at 2:21 pm

      Yeah that’s how I felt, it was rude but on the plus side I got to go home early.

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  • Reply
    Marc de V
    November 21, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    Ah yes, the confusion of the first date. I don’t think that first dates should be planned to be very long. 40 minutes doesn’t sound unreasonable. I look at a first date as a second look without obligations. Maybe I was wrong when I first asked her out. I want to be able to make a clean exit. I don’t think you should have texted him while he was at IKEA. But it doesn’t really matter. He decided early on he wasn’t interested. Thank him for that. Small price to pay for the rudeness. What are the thoughts about general first date rules?

    • Reply
      Alice
      November 22, 2017 at 7:52 pm

      It’s strange, I get moaned at when I say to keep the first date fairly low investment, but then others think it’s OK to walk out halfway through! I found it a bit rude, but on the plus side I got to leave early.

      • Reply
        Marc de V
        November 23, 2017 at 3:26 am

        On the plus side you get to live a happy life without him.

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