So in a few of my more “advice” type posts, I’ve skated across the idea that you shouldn’t pursue people in relationships. These things are easier said than done however, so to show you why, I thought I’d share a story from my own dating life.
The story started on my 22nd birthday. I was on my gap year, volunteer teaching in Tanzania, and to celebrate myself and the other volunteers were going to an expat bar then to a nightclub in town. Unfortunately, my birthday happened to fall in the month where previous volunteers had gone home, and new volunteers were yet to arrive, so I was celebrating with two girls who don’t drink. Halfway through our uneventful time at the bar, they informed me that they didn’t want to go to a nightclub, so we were just going to stay here for a bit then go home.
Continue reading “The Forbidden Fruit: Why You Shouldn’t Pursue People In Relationships”
My first experience of The Inner Circle happened about 3 years ago when I was fairly new to online dating. I’d received an invite onto the site when I met the founder at an event, and was excited to try it out. I received a message from an investment banker 10 years my senior, which was older than I’d dated before but I figured he’d be more mature, and I envisioned the cultured, confident banker type. I got there and he’d lied down about his age by at least 10 years, and was, for want of a better phrase, a bit weird. I then got chatted up by this weird African guy on the train home.
I never used the site again.
However, one of my friends started using The Inner Circle dating app, and said she was meeting higher quality guys from it, so I decided to get back on the horse and give it a whirl.
Continue reading “The Inner Circle App Review”
The problem with dating, is that it’s an art, not a science. It’s not a simple case of do XYZ and Q will happen. People are complicated, many-layered, unpredictable. You can do everything right and get it wrong, you can do everything wrong and get it right.
That said though, there are definitely things that you can do to up your odds, or at least, avoid wasting too much time on dickheads. But dating advice is not all given equal. Over the years, I’ve heard many pearls of wisdom, but there’s also been some absolutely atrocious dating advice pedaled out, some of which I ended up following, with disastrous consequences.
Continue reading “Bad Dating Advice I’ve Heard”
One of the age-old questions of dating. A debate that could go on all evening. I ran a Twitter poll on the topic and had the highest number of votes for any poll I’ve run to date.
What am I talking about?
How long do you wait before having sex with a new partner?
Continue reading “How Long To Wait Before Sex?”
Some people seem fancy every other guy or girl they meet. These people effortlessly hop from one fling or relationship to the next, not because they’re particularly amazing, they just happen to like a lot of people. And fair play to them.
For others like me on the other hand, we don’t seem to fancy people as often. Maybe about one person per year. And once we leave education, that’s more like once every 2-3 years. It’s not that we have particularly high standards or obscure criteria. We just don’t often feel that elusive spark.
Continue reading “5 Things You Know If You’re A Picky Dater”
“Never date a friend’s ex”. One of the golden rules of dating. Along with “Never date a co-worker”. And “Never date a flatmate”.
Which makes sense. I mean, those are potentially very awkward situations, and there are plenty of other fish and all that. But realistically- same social circles, feelings happen, things happen. A lot of relationships come about due to proximity (and let’s face it, alcohol). So you’re more likely to develop a crush on a co-worker or a friend’s ex than on a 2 hour Tinder date.
The question is, how do you deal with it?
Continue reading “Should You Date A Friend’s Ex?”
Which gender has the upper hand in the dating market? Well, each seem to think the other. Men bemoan women’s many options. Women bemoan men’s many options. So which is it?
Disclaimer: This post is focused around heterosexual relationships, but feel free to write me an awesome guest post on the dynamic of gay/ lesbian dating.
It’s easy to see why men feel disheartened. I’ve been using various apps for a while now, and I’m in the unique position of having used them to meet men and women. I started by dating men, then I used Bumble BFF to make new female friends, then I got fed up with men and decided to switch Tinder to women only for a while (long story). Anyhow, the first thing I noticed was how much more difficult it is to get matches on the female side. When I’m swiping for men, I match most times. But with women, I hardly ever do. Once, I did a social experiment on Bumble where I tried swiping right to all and seeing what came up. For men, I had more matches than I knew what to do with within the first 30 seconds. For women, I didn’t get any matches. So it seems to be that women are much more picky with their swipes.
Continue reading “Who Has The Upper Hand In The Dating Market?”