No. Cut Him Off.

So you match with this guy on Tinder. His chat is pretty decent, so you meet up for a drink. Instant connection. You go home with butterflies in your stomach. You fall into a pattern of seeing each other once of twice a week. It’s all going well. It’s like you’re going out, but neither of you has brought up “what you are” yet. After 2 months, you raise the question. He says he’s not really sure yet, and needs more time to decide. So you give him time. After 3 months, you raise the question again. He says he’s still not sure. You start to feel a little irked. I mean, it’s been 3 months. You’re sure. So why isn’t he? You wonder whether you should just sit out. Maybe 3 months is too soon. Maybe after 4, he’ll realize how great you are and make it official. Or maybe you should just enjoy it for what it is. You enjoy his company, it’s better than nothing, so maybe you should just carry on and try and ignore the niggling sense of dissatisfaction at the back of your mind?

No. Cut him off.  

No. Cut Him Off.

You meet this guy through mutual friends. He’s exactly your type. Pretty soon, it becomes apparent that there’s a definite frission in the air. But is he single? Hell no. He’s in a 3 year relationship. Always the way. But he seems pretty into you too. Somehow, you end up with each other’s numbers. You end up texting every night. There’s definite sexual tension. But there’s more. There’s a connection. You haven’t felt this way about anyone in ages. You make out when you’re both drunk at a party. Maybe he’ll dump his girlfriend for you now! I mean, you’re fitter than her anyway. If he met you both for the first time now, he’d totally pick you. It’s just unfortunate that he met her first. He doesn’t. But you still talk, and flirt. Maybe you should just sit it out, and eventually he’ll see how great you are and leave his girlfriend for you?

No. Cut him off. 

You get blackout drunk and sleep with one of your male friends. You both laugh it off. Try and smooth over the awkwardness. It happens again. But, the sex is pretty good. So you decide to give it a go. You become friends with benefits. Like the film, Friends With Benefits. It’s great at first. Sex with no strings attached. But then, you talk. You start hanging out for longer. You start watching movies together afterwards. Perhaps… it doesn’t have to be no strings attached. Perhaps there could be… strings. Perhaps it could be a relationship. You try and set up a brunch date with him, and he agrees. Great, an actual date! But he flakes. You get blackout drunk and text him telling him you want something more. He tells you he just wants something casual. Maybe you should stick it out. Maybe if you keep going, eventually he’ll realize how great you are. Or maybe you should just accept things the way they are because it’s better than nothing.

No. Cut him off. 

You meet a guy through work. It’s love at first sight. You’ve never felt something so strong before. But he’s married. Damn it. At after work drinks one Friday, everyone else leaves early, and it’s just the two of you. The chemistry is insane, and he opens up about how his wife’s a bitch and he wants to leave but they have two young children. You end up kissing passionately, and after that, you begin seeing each other. A stolen moment, here and there. A weekend when he lied to his wife and told her he was on a business trip. He says he’s desperately unhappy in his marriage, he loves you, and he wants to leave, but he’s got kids and he doesn’t want hurt them so he’s not sure what to do. Maybe you should stick out. Maybe in time, he’ll pick up the courage to leave his wife, and start a new life with you.

No. Cut him off. 

A man who wants to be with you will be with you. A man who wants to be with you will move mountains to to be with you. Love isn’t complicated, love is simple. People make things complicated. But if people want to be with you, they don’t make things complicated.

So just cut him off. 

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10 Comments

  1. April 23, 2017 / 6:27 pm

    Reblogged this on LADYHOOD journey and commented:
    Every woman deserves to feel wanted. If you do not fee wanted, then you are not. If you doubt that he loves you, he probably doesn’t. As the author stated so plainly “Love is not complicated.”
    Check out more from Alice in Wonderlust on dating and relationships https://aliceinwonderlust.com/

    • April 23, 2017 / 6:29 pm

      Thanks so much for sharing!

      • April 23, 2017 / 6:36 pm

        Every single woman needs to read this! This is a big part of what I write about. Great blog and post!!!!!

  2. April 23, 2017 / 7:39 pm

    It took me few years but now, I just don’t lose time with guys who don’t deserve me. Efforts must come from both side and he can’t expect you to give everything while he does nothing; So yeah, cutting him off is essential sometimes. xx corinne

  3. April 25, 2017 / 2:19 am

    This was such a good read. Totally Magizine Worthy and going to have to share with my girls.

    • May 5, 2017 / 11:20 am

      Same, and I think apps/ sites add to a feeling of disposability!

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