Dating. When it works out, it’s the best feeling in the world. The journey there however, does not run as smooth. We put ourselves through a never-ending stream of Tinder flakes and bad first dates, in the hope of eventually meeting The One. We long for the day we get married, not because we’re even that keen on a big wedding, but because it means we get to DELETE ALL THE DATING APPS FROM OUR PHONES.
Although (hopefully) it’ll all be worth it in the end, in order to vent my frustration and hopefully offer some entertainment along the way, I’ve put together a list of the top 5 things I hate about dating.
1. Endless Chat
When it comes to online dating, people fall into two camps: the Talkers, and the Meeters. The Talkers argue that if you talk to someone for a long time before agreeing to meet, you can select people who you are more compatible with. For me though, this hasn’t been the case. Anyone I got along with over messages, or thought I would fancy from their profile, turned out to be weird in person. So if we’ve matched, and they’re not weird over message, I’d rather just meet up as soon as possible to avoid building up expectations, or wasting time talking to people who have no intention of meeting up. When I meet another Meeter, that’s great, because we can just instadate. But when I meet a Talker on the other hand, it’s such a drag having to reply to their endless messages about how my day has been, knowing that we may never even end up meeting in person.
2. The Male Height Exaggeration
I get it. In the online world, more inches appears to equal more responses. And the women who are 5’1″ but “don’t date anyone under 6’0″” aren’t helping the situation. So it’s understandable why guys bend the truth a little when it comes to their height. But as a tall girl, this is the bane of my dating life. If a guy says he’s 6’0″ then comes up to my shoulder, it’s just a massive waste of both our time. If you’re going to lie about your height, at least pick someone who’s still shorter than you so they might not notice your deceit!
3. The Male Aversion To Food
A quick coffee on a Saturday afternoon can be a good first date, but I usually end up doing most of my dating during the week. I work all day, and by the time I’ve finished I’m absolutely STARVING, so if I’m meeting someone after work the obvious solution is to go for dinner right? But no. Mention food, and all of a sudden guys get skittish and flake out or claim they’ve “eaten before” (if anyone knows who these companies are that offer a free dinner at the end of the day, please send them my CV), so you’re stuck “going for drinks” instead, which costs JUST AS MUCH as dinner, yet is dull AF.
4. Boring Dates
If you have a bad date, it’s awful at the time, but you can laugh about it afterwards. It’s all part of the dating experience, and it’s a good story to tell. The worst thing is when you have a boring date. You know, when they’re nice enough, not terrible, but they’re just completely not your type, and you have to force a couple of hours worth of small talk. Even worse is when you have 5 boring dates in a row and start to lose the will to live.
5. Sex & Exclusivity
The common logic is, if you want something more meaningful, wait a while before having sex. That seems reasonable. The question is, how long do you wait? I’ve been told if you want to wait until it’s official “no guy will ever settle for that”. Apparently the standard practice is 3 dates. But what if you’re not ready on the third date? And what if you have sex after 3 dates, AND HE DISAPPEARS. I mean, you probably know whether sex is on the cards by that point, but it’s not that long. But what if you wait the more conservative 5-6 dates AND HE STILL DISAPPEARS? Or what if you want to wait longer than 3 dates, BUT HE WON’T WAIT? And what happens after you’ve had sex? I’d personally be happy at that point to go exclusive. I don’t like sharing. But by modern standards, that seems to be “too clingy”. So you have to keep going on other dates. And they might be sleeping with other people. Eugh. The traditionalist in me is dying inside.