I have a love-hate relationship with my birthday. I love celebrating it and receiving presents. However, I always dread being another year older, as I start panicking about all the things I should have done by that age but haven’t i.e. finding a man.
Anyway, around this time last year, I was starting to panic. The following year, I was set to hit the big Quarter of a Century milestone. My tough gym routine and fundraising activities preparing for my sponsored climb of Mount Kilimanjaro meant that I’d been on about 2 dates in the first half of 2015, but as the year was drawing to a close, I was starting to panic about not having found a husband yet.
So I began the process of what I refer to as “churning them out”. Basically, speed swiping on Tinder and trawling through my OKCupid inbox to rack up and churn out as many dates as possible to maximise my chances of meeting The One.
Most of the dates I went on were pretty awful. But there was one particular fellow who was particularly horrific.
Met this guy on Tinder, and after chatting for a while, we switched to “second base”, WhatsApp.
We ended up talking every day. He’d message without fail every evening, then we’d chat until bedtime when we’d say goodnight to each other. Attentive, but not too clingy. Perhaps this could finally be it?
Then, the red flag came.
“How long do you make a guy wait?”, he asked.
But he’d been normal up until then, so I brushed it off.
We finally arranged to meet on a Saturday evening. I was commuting from Reading at that point and he was from Enfield, so we arranged to meet near Paddington station as a halfway point and go to this Chinese restaurant nearby.
Upon meeting, I realised that he wasn’t the 6’1″ he’d claimed to be. And the food was good, but the conversation was a bit awkward. The bill came, and I offered to split it, but he paid and said I could buy him a drink afterwards. The service at the restaurant had been really quick so we’d only been there for an hour, and although I secretly quite like it when the man picks up the tab in a relationship, on the first couple of dates I’d rather split the bill, so I thought, sure why not? I’m happy to pay for a couple of drinks.
We went to this bar down the road, which turned out to only take cash, so he ended up paying and I’d said pay him back afterwards. The he started knocking back the wine.
He got a bit more confident and engaging after a couple of drinks. Conversation was flowing well, so I thought perhaps it could be worth a tentative second date.
But then he had another glass. And another. Fuck, I hope he’s not expecting me to pay for this. I decided I’d just offer to pay my share of dinner and drinks. He started getting obnoxious. He kept awkwardly trying to kiss me, told me I “get fitter” the more he’s had to drink, and asked if I’d “do him”. He then proceeded to tell me about a threesome he’d had with a male friend and a girl, and how once he was sleeping with 3 girls at the same time. I doubted these stories actually happened, as I couldn’t imagine anyone… fancying him to sleep with him. And he was 31. The whole point of dating guys in their thirties is that THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MATURE. Made a mental note to propose date locations where there’s no alcohol on the premises in future.
Eventually left, and got the train home. Remembered on the train that I’d forgotten to pay him back. Oops.
Got a message from him demanding “Where’s my money?”
Apologised and offered to pay him back by bank transfer or something. He then set me a stream of drunk messages, along the lines of “I want to fuck you”, before informing he’d got a taxi home. Bit of an expensive journey, but he was an oil broker so I guess he could afford it.
He then messaged me the next day with his bank details.
“About £60 should do it.”
Wait… what? I’d had 2 drinks at the bar and dinner was standard price. Were the drinks laced with gold or something?
I asked him how much drinks were, and he said £5. I did the mental calculations.
“So I owe… £27?”
“Yeah and dinner.”
“Errm… that is and dinner. I had 2 drinks.”
“I can’t be bothered to haggle with you so just pay back whatever you feel you owe. I went out with £120 though!”
I then remembered that he’d got a taxi from Paddington station to Enfield, which is probably where the money went.
Like I said, on a first date I’m happy to split the bill, however by “split the bill” I mean each person covers their own share, NOT try and factor in your taxi home.
I never went on a second date with this lovely gentleman, however he did tell me that “we should have got a hotel room”.
22 Comments
justanothersinglegirlinlondon
November 30, 2016 at 5:24 pmI have been on some terrible dates in my time but that is simply AWFUL!! You should have given that guy a reality check in basic etiquette and manners! I hope that hasn’t disheartened you in your quest to find a decent man!
Alice
November 30, 2016 at 5:27 pmNah, luckily no-one else from the app has been quite that bad so hasn’t completely scared me off!
justanothersinglegirlinlondon
November 30, 2016 at 5:29 pmAt least you can take away from it that it made a good blog post!! 🙂
FNU MNU LNU
November 30, 2016 at 6:20 pmjeeze, whats wrong with guys in the uk?
CUCH
December 1, 2016 at 8:30 amNothing. This one simply happened to be a tosser.
terrimadden2016
November 30, 2016 at 11:34 pmOh I really feel for you Alice. How awful for this man to make such a big deal about drinks. You deserve better and I know that when you don’t expect things to happen they suddenly click. You will find Mr. Right, he is out there. Huggs to you Alice, from Terri xoxo .
Alice
December 3, 2016 at 6:27 pmThanks so much, luckily I haven’t met anyone quite that bad since!
CUCH
December 1, 2016 at 8:42 amOMG that is awful. I always expect to split the bill at the end of the night but I don’t act like a bell end if it doesn’t happen. If a woman feels entitled to me footing the bill for her entertainment, there is zero chance of a second date. You clearly didn’t do that, so he simply decided to act like a knobhead because you weren’t going to jump straight into bed with him.
He had a million other ways he could have handled that situation better and he went for the worst possible one.
Alice
December 3, 2016 at 6:26 pmI agree, even if the man ends up paying the woman should at least offer! However, in this situation I was totally willing to pay my way, just not for his taxi!
CUCH
December 5, 2016 at 10:44 pmYes, splitting the bill does not mean dividing up the cost of getting there. That’ just petty.
The Guy Who Tried To Bill Me For His Taxi Home — Alice In Wonderlust | UK Dating Blog – ANDY THOMSON BLOG
December 1, 2016 at 9:49 pm[…] via The Guy Who Tried To Bill Me For His Taxi Home — Alice In Wonderlust | UK Dating Blog […]
HettyAshAsiabee (@HettyAsia)
December 4, 2016 at 10:37 pmSo sorry to hear this. That’s an absolute terrible date! You lasted longer than I would have – I would have been out of the door long time ago. At least your blog is really interested to read. Hetty.
http://www.hettyashasiabee.com
Alice
December 7, 2016 at 1:23 pmThat’s true, bad dates always make the best stories!
AlishaValerie.. (@AlishaValerie)
December 5, 2016 at 3:19 pmThis guy sounds like a pig. So happy you stood your ground with him though babe! 💜💫✨
With love, Alisha Valerie. x
http://www.AlishaValerie.com | http://www.twitter.com/AlishaValerie
Alice
December 7, 2016 at 1:22 pmOh God yeah, did not want to pay for that taxi!
5 Reasons To Do Coffee Dates – Alice In Wonderlust | UK Dating Blog
December 7, 2016 at 5:10 pm[…] there’s nothing wrong with having a drink or two on a date. However, there’s always one person who goes overboard. Luckily places like Starbucks don’t tend to have a licence, so you can save yourself the […]
L. Rorschach
December 21, 2016 at 10:45 pm“Where’s my money?”
That is horrifying!
Alice
December 22, 2016 at 1:23 pmI know right!
The Top 5 Dating Mistakes I Made – Alice In Wonderlust | UK Dating Blog
December 25, 2016 at 4:56 pm[…] I’ve made my fair share. Granted, I’ve had some seriously bad luck. I look back on some situations, and think “I can’t believe that actually happened”. But I’ve also screwed […]
The Mid-Twenties Crisis – Alice In Wonderlust | UK Dating Blog
December 28, 2016 at 4:58 pm[…] just never clicked with those guys. Most were nice enough (although you get the occasional oddball), but we were just mismatched. Not people I would have dated if we’d met in the “real […]
5 Things I Hate About Dating – Alice In Wonderlust | UK Dating Blog
April 6, 2017 at 4:34 pm[…] you have a bad date, it’s awful at the time, but you can laugh about it afterwards. It’s all part of the […]
The 4 Types Of First Dates – Alice In Wonderlust | UK Dating Blog
October 15, 2017 at 4:45 pm[…] Perhaps they lied about their age by 20 years and thought you wouldn’t notice. Perhaps they tried to bill you for their taxi home. Perhaps they walked out halfway through, or the date was so bad that you walked out halfway […]