Since the good old days, when I first started going to house parties, drinking WKD, and my friends started becoming, to use that cringeworthy phrase, “sexually active”, being good in bed has always been something to aspire to, for the very least to avoid being the subject of mocking in the college cafeteria. Which makes sense. In a long-term relationship, trust, shared values, and the ability to compromise on a holiday destination are all great qualities, but sex is important too. But what makes someone good in bed? Obviously I’m not the best person to answer this question, so I decided instead to discover the solution through a very unscientific means- a Twitter poll. So read on, and discover how to be good in bed.
So What Makes Someone Good In Bed?
Experience- the one used by the “sex positive” crowd as a stick to beat people with. As the trope goes, everyone starts out as shit in bed, so we are all obligated to ditch our virginities at the earliest possible opportunity and sleep around as much as possible if we wish to find love.
You can tell by my tone, that of course I can’t stand this mentality. However, perhaps there is some truth to it? I personally wouldn’t go to their extent, but there is a logic in that the more times you do something, the better you become at it.
The mixed results of this poll show that although experience does help, it’s not he be all and end all. In my opinion, it varies. Arguably, a varied sex life with one person over a long period of time can be more beneficial in terms of skill than a string of one night stands. I think also for experience to be worthwhile in terms of performance, you have to learn from said experience- develop from feedback, and so on. I’m sure we can think of one person who seems to make the same mistakes over and over in their dating life but never seems to learn- the same probably applies to sex.
“I think experience is good- but you can be a virgin and better than someone with years of experience- IF you pay attention to your partner and do your research.” – My friend Mike
Not experienced? Worry not, there are other factors.
“It’s not what you have, but what you do with it”, the saying goes. Or perhaps it’s “It’s not how big it is, but what you do with it”. I can’t remember. But either way, is it possible to master a set of tricks to make you a master between the sheets?
The results of my very unscientific Twitter poll have shown that yes, there are. So how does one go about developing ones technique? Well, points 1 and 4 of this post could be good starting points. But I think there’s also a benefit to doing a bit of reading around. I was a geeky teenager and didn’t get a boyfriend until I was 20, which left me a little behind in the bedroom department, so I just used a few techniques I’d read in the sex pages in Glamour (although if you’re a family member reading this, I never actually used any said techniques of course).
And of course, what’s sex without passion? A smouldering glance across a crowded room. Fiery banter with a hint of innuendo. Sensual kissing. And touching. You get the idea. Without that red-hot passion, sex is just baby-making.
“The best sex for me is when my heads involved and I really like someone” – @findaprince
It seems my very unscientific Twitter poll agrees, with my followers rating passion as the highest out of all the options. Which makes sense. I mean even with the best technique in the world, how good is sex going to be if you’re not actually attracted to each other? And if you absolutely fancy the pants off someone, getting naked and exploring each other’s bodies couldn’t really be bad?
Paying attention to someone’s responses, asking questions, and a willingness to learn. It’s just considerate, you know.
“Responsiveness. Being in tune with the person you’re with. Adjusting what you do based on the response you get until you get things just right. Oh yeah, that’s perfect!” – SharpSweetBella
And it seems my very unscientific Twitter poll agrees with me. Although not to the same extent as some of the others. Which makes sense. I mean done to extreme, it could sound more like a driving lesson than a romantic encounter.
A Massive Cock
And finally, does bigger mean better?
According to my very unscientific Twitter poll, no. So worry not, less well-endowed male readers. It’s about what you do with it after all.
What do you think makes someone good in bed? Let me know in the comments!