Dating Someone With Different Political Views

“Swipe left if you voted leave”

“Don’t message me if you voted for Trump”

“No Tories”

“No SJWs”

Political activism is on the rise. Log onto social media and it seems like everyone has an opinion. Scan through people’s dating app bios and it appears when it comes to finding a match, those opinions matter. But should they?

dating someone with different political views

I’m a pretty political person. I’ve got my views and I’m passionate about them. I also think I’m always right. When it comes to politics, and even the smaller things, right down to dinner vs. drinks on a first date. I get frustrated that people don’t realise I’m right and stew on it for ages. Even though it’s not that big a deal. So when I meet people who disagree with me, I have to fight back the urge to be like “NO YOU’RE WRONG!”. And when I meet people who agree with me, I feel like I’ve met my fellow traveller because SOMEONE ELSE IS RIGHT. So if I had to write a list of qualities my ideal partner would have, shared political views would be on there. And I’m sure others would feel the same.

However, Cupid doesn’t always care about your list. Shared political views are great, but ultimately you don’t fancy someone for their love of Jeremy Corbyn. You fancy someone for their looks and personality. You could meet someone you could enthuse about your favourite political YouTuber with for hours with, but you just don’t fancy them. They’re a friend. Then you could be passionately attracted to someone who it turns out disagrees with you. So what to do?

Ultimately, my views on this are half and half. Ideally, I’d like to date someone who loves Lauren Southern as much as I do. However, I wouldn’t turn down Mr. Perfect-in-every-other-way just because he voted for a different political party to me. Sometimes, a bit of disagreement can even make for a good debate and make things more interesting. On the other hand though, I find some of the SJW types are so different to me, that beyond being civil for the sake of shared space it would be hard to build any sort of relationship at all. A lot of it also comes down to how someone expresses their views- a bit of dissent is healthy, calling someone a Nazi/ racist etc. for differing opinions is just a headache.

It also depends on the type of disagreement. I think disagreements relating to more “political politics”- for example the economy, business, taxation, immigration, and so on- are easier to overcome than “social politics”- i.e. modern feminism, sex, and so forth. For example, I feel I’d be incompatible with a lot of the male feminist types as they tend to have the “Sexual liberation is great! Slut-shaming is bad!” mentality- which usually results in judgement in a direction that doesn’t work in my favour. I feel I’d need someone with compatible views in regards to relationships, sex, marriage, and monogamy in order for it to work. Although it’s worth mentioning that you shouldn’t read too much into labels. For example, some say they wouldn’t date a feminist based on the “WHITE CIS HET MEN ARE TRASH” types we see in the media and online, however someone could easily call themselves a feminist and not behave like this.

Ultimately, each case is unique. While you need some level of compatibility to connect, don’t immediately rule someone out on political labels. Life doesn’t always fall into stereotype, and sometimes someone who’s not what you were thought you were looking for initially can be right for you on a deeper level.

Would you date someone with different political views? Let me know in the comments!

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33 Comments

  1. October 22, 2017 / 6:37 pm

    I would comment but I’m going to save my thoughts for a post of my own. This is a subject that’s been rattling around my head for a while now, and this post of yours gave me an idea how to tie it all together.

    • October 22, 2017 / 7:38 pm

      Ooh can’t wait to read!

  2. October 22, 2017 / 6:54 pm

    For me, politics is the one area where I just know, if we didn’t have the same views, it wouldn’t work. Because our political views are not just randomly allocated to us – my political views are so firmly aligned with my values and belief system and personality, and also strongly related to the job I do.
    If someone was happy to vote for policies that will directly make the lives of my patients worse, I don’t want that person to put his penis in me.

    • October 22, 2017 / 7:25 pm

      That’s fair enough, sometimes it can tie into a lifestyle.

    • October 26, 2017 / 11:27 pm

      My boyfriend and I have very different political beliefs. It used to be a bigger issue for me but now I am ok with it. I think at the end of the day we find the same things important like family, happiness and our health. I would like to be an example to others that you can still have relationships with people that think differently than you.

      • October 28, 2017 / 4:01 pm

        Yes, that’s so true!

  3. October 22, 2017 / 7:00 pm

    No, I probably would not date someone with drastically different political views. Completely opposite views would be a deal-breaker for me.

    • October 22, 2017 / 7:38 pm

      Yeah I guess it’s different for everyone.

  4. October 22, 2017 / 7:31 pm

    This has really made me think, thank you!

    My husband and I have different political views in some areas. He is more liberal than he thinks he is and I’m more conservative than I think I am, generally, but in England we generally vote for the same party and have similar opinions. When it comes to topics like gun control or politics in other countries, we do have differing views. However, we both like debating and honestly it’s not a dealbreaker for us.

    I wouldn’t necessarily rule out dating someone with views, because people’s views can change over time as well. You could begin dating someone whose views align perfectly with yours and within ten years one or the other of you could have changed drastically. However, there are some areas that would be a dealbreaker: if a potential partner didn’t believe in gay rights, for example.

    • October 22, 2017 / 7:36 pm

      Ah yes I never thought about that- views can definitely change over time and it would be interesting to see how that would affect the relationship.

  5. October 22, 2017 / 7:33 pm

    I think I’d find it quite difficult to date someone with different political views to me, especially if they supported a racist or homophobic etc. party, I can barely tolerate people like that in general! It’d definitely depend on the person I think and what views they had in particular!
    Alice Xx
    http://www.blacktulipbeauty.co.uk

    • October 22, 2017 / 7:48 pm

      Yeah, I guess I was thinking more Labour vs. Conservative etc. rather than anything really awful!

  6. Corinne and Kirsty
    October 22, 2017 / 7:34 pm

    I would date someone with different political views. I actually did. it is great to hear others’ opinions, challenge yours or take a step back. Knowing what the other side thinks is also the best way to build your arguments ahah! xx corinne

    • October 22, 2017 / 7:37 pm

      Yes that’s true- love a good debate!

  7. October 22, 2017 / 7:34 pm

    Ah this is such a tough subject! I’m the same as you and am super opinionated, I think I’d find it really tough to be with someone who had completely different political views to me! Luckily I don’t haha!x

    • October 22, 2017 / 7:37 pm

      I think chemistry can override a lot of things.

  8. October 22, 2017 / 7:42 pm

    Such an intresting subject, I am dating someone who has some different views than me, mainly the fact they don’t care about it and never vote which drives me up the wall but tbh our relationship is so much more than our political views.

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

    • October 22, 2017 / 8:49 pm

      Argh that would annoy me! But yes there are more important things in a relationship!

  9. October 22, 2017 / 8:47 pm

    I don’t follow politic that much but I guess it may be challenging someone with different views as it can create conflict as it would mean that both people have different views, ways of living and opinions.

    • October 22, 2017 / 8:48 pm

      Yes it could very well do!

  10. October 22, 2017 / 9:07 pm

    Oooohhhh I LOVE this post! I agree, it’s tricky. I’m the same, I’m a political person (I mean I study politics haha), and I’m very opinionated. But I’m also quite sympathetic and open minded. I think core values would always have to be the same for me. So personally, say if I were american, I just wouldn’t be able to date a Trump supporter, because his key principles go against so much of what I think is right. I think in terms of politics and core moral values, there needs to be far more in common than in disagreement, otherwise it can be very difficult. Such a great piece! x

    whatevawears.co.uk

    • October 26, 2017 / 8:24 pm

      Yeah I think core moral values are important, more so than party politics.

  11. October 23, 2017 / 7:53 am

    I could so long as there is common ground. Even the most hardened Tories and Labour activists realise there are factions within parties that would mean MPs from both sides of the aisle would have some common ground. If they do, so can we.

    Saying that, I couldn’t date a narrow-minded xenophobe or a racist from the right or a militant feminist from the left even though my political opinions are on the left. I think it surprises some people that anyone can be left wing and anti-feminist.

    • October 26, 2017 / 8:25 pm

      Yeah I find the two main parties in the UK are quite similar. Yes, leftism and modern feminism seem to go together!

  12. October 23, 2017 / 5:44 pm

    I think it’s definitely subjective and depends on each person. Some people can ignore the differences, but for some it’s too much! My boyfriend and I probably couldn’t be more different politically and he often makes fun of a lot of my beliefs. It does really infuriate me (I’m always right too lol) but I generally just avoid political conversations with him. I love him even though we don’t agree on everything!

    Alice x | invocati

  13. October 23, 2017 / 6:34 pm

    I think, I wouldn’t mind. I have dated both a tory and labour supporter in the past, a communist and someone who had now idea what was going on with the parties nor didn’t care.

    My own political views are quite all over the place too and I wouldn’t really label myself as just one thing. Labels are wrong.

  14. October 25, 2017 / 8:04 pm

    I think as a partner we would need to share at least some views. I’m a floating voter myself and tend to like / dislike policies of all the major parties.If they are willing to tolerate my differences I would probably tolerate theirs.

  15. October 27, 2017 / 7:11 am

    I don’t think I could date a non-atheist, personally. I think we’d clash too much and if it came to a time we decided to get married, I can’t see most Christians not wanting a church wedding. Most men would be happy to go along with it, but my lack of religion is important enough to me that I refuse to make vows to a deity I don’t actually believe in. It would cheapen the vows. We may as well make our vows to the Teletubbies for all the meaning it would have for me, and just as absurd.

  16. February 15, 2018 / 7:09 pm

    I think if you had opposing political views it would cause reoccurring and unnecessary arguments to the point of one partner declaring they have lost respect for the other. Unfortunately.
    My social life has dried up for months now and I hate being single now. It is only because of my lack of companionship that I would consider dating someone with opposite views but knowing it wouldn’t work out in the future. Even if couples tried to avoid politics as a rule it would seep in to their lives anyway. It’s always on the news, tv or newspapers. Couples can’t get away from it.

    • February 15, 2018 / 8:38 pm

      I guess so, if you really liked someone perhaps you could overlook it though?

      • February 15, 2018 / 8:48 pm

        I would certainly try.

      • February 15, 2018 / 8:52 pm

        Based on if I really liked that someone, I would really try. Women tend to soften my views on a plethora of subjects & it’s much needed everywhere today. Thank you

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