“Swipe left if you voted leave”
“Don’t message me if you voted for Trump”
Political activism is on the rise. Log onto social media and it seems like everyone has an opinion. Scan through people’s dating app bios and it appears when it comes to finding a match, those opinions matter. But should they?
I’m a pretty political person. I’ve got my views and I’m passionate about them. I also think I’m always right. When it comes to politics, and even the smaller things, right down to dinner vs. drinks on a first date. I get frustrated that people don’t realise I’m right and stew on it for ages. Even though it’s not that big a deal. So when I meet people who disagree with me, I have to fight back the urge to be like “NO YOU’RE WRONG!”. And when I meet people who agree with me, I feel like I’ve met my fellow traveller because SOMEONE ELSE IS RIGHT. So if I had to write a list of qualities my ideal partner would have, shared political views would be on there. And I’m sure others would feel the same.
However, Cupid doesn’t always care about your list. Shared political views are great, but ultimately you don’t fancy someone for their love of Jeremy Corbyn. You fancy someone for their looks and personality. You could meet someone you could enthuse about your favourite political YouTuber with for hours with, but you just don’t fancy them. They’re a friend. Then you could be passionately attracted to someone who it turns out disagrees with you. So what to do?
Ultimately, my views on this are half and half. Ideally, I’d like to date someone who loves Lauren Southern as much as I do. However, I wouldn’t turn down Mr. Perfect-in-every-other-way just because he voted for a different political party to me. Sometimes, a bit of disagreement can even make for a good debate and make things more interesting. On the other hand though, I find some of the SJW types are so different to me, that beyond being civil for the sake of shared space it would be hard to build any sort of relationship at all. A lot of it also comes down to how someone expresses their views- a bit of dissent is healthy, calling someone a Nazi/ racist etc. for differing opinions is just a headache.
It also depends on the type of disagreement. I think disagreements relating to more “political politics”- for example the economy, business, taxation, immigration, and so on- are easier to overcome than “social politics”- i.e. modern feminism, sex, and so forth. For example, I feel I’d be incompatible with a lot of the male feminist types as they tend to have the “Sexual liberation is great! Slut-shaming is bad!” mentality- which usually results in judgement in a direction that doesn’t work in my favour. I feel I’d need someone with compatible views in regards to relationships, sex, marriage, and monogamy in order for it to work. Although it’s worth mentioning that you shouldn’t read too much into labels. For example, some say they wouldn’t date a feminist based on the “WHITE CIS HET MEN ARE TRASH” types we see in the media and online, however someone could easily call themselves a feminist and not behave like this.
Ultimately, each case is unique. While you need some level of compatibility to connect, don’t immediately rule someone out on political labels. Life doesn’t always fall into stereotype, and sometimes someone who’s not what you were thought you were looking for initially can be right for you on a deeper level.
Would you date someone with different political views? Let me know in the comments!