Some people seem fancy every other guy or girl they meet. These people effortlessly hop from one fling or relationship to the next, not because they’re particularly amazing, they just happen to like a lot of people. And fair play to them.
For others like me on the other hand, we don’t seem to fancy people as often. Maybe about one person per year. And once we leave education, that’s more like once every 2-3 years. It’s not that we have particularly high standards or obscure criteria. We just don’t often feel that elusive spark.
Here are 5 things all those accused of being “too picky” when dating will be able to relate to.
1. Obsessive Crushes
Sometimes I think it would be nice to fancy more people, so I could be a bit more carefree when dating. Like, perhaps there was one guy I was seeing for a couple of months, it didn’t work out, but I met someone else a few weeks later. Or perhaps I could even line up a few at the same time. Play guys at their own game. But if you’re picky, it doesn’t work like that. You fancy one guy every couple of years. So if you fancy someone, it’s not just a fun fling. You LOVE him. And failed romances take forever to get over.
2. Questioning Your Sexuality
You know the feeling. You meet people. But you never meet anyone you fancy. Perhaps you even meet people who are good on paper… but you just don’t fancy them. So you start to wonder… perhaps I’m actually into girls? (Or guys, depending on what gender you’re usually attracted to). So you try switching genders on your dating apps. But you never fancy any of them either. So you wonder… perhaps I’m asexual? Until once in a blue moon you meet someone and BOOM the spark appears and you realise you’re not.
3. Other People’s Strange Criteria
Some people only date people with degrees. Or sometimes, only people with degrees from certain universities. Some people specify a limit on the number of previous sexual partners a potential date must have. And I’m like, I wish there were enough people I wanted to sleep with for me to get picky about numbers.
4. Off Limits?
A couple of years ago, I reconnected via Facebook with a guy I’d taken a liking to on my gap year. I hadn’t liked anyone for a long time- I’d been on dates, but they all lacked that magic spark- and the moment I started talking to him the sexual chemistry was zinging through the room. Only problem- he had a girlfriend.
“I LIKE SOMEONE!!” I rushed to tell all my friends.
“But… he’s got a girlfriend…”
“BUT… I LIKE SOMEONE!”
(On a serious note though it’s not a great idea to pursue people in relationships)
5. Unwanted Remarks
“You’re being too picky”. Along with “your standards are too high”, and all that. Or perhaps, “Why are you so bothered about height? The guy doesn’t have to be taller!”- from your 5’3″ friend with the 6’3″ boyfriend.
Ultimately though, it’s none of their business. You can’t compromise on passion, and there’s no point being in a relationship where you’re unhappy. Keep being picky, and when you find someone you click with, you’ll appreciate it even more.