5 Things You Know If You’re A Picky Dater

Some people seem fancy every other guy or girl they meet. These people effortlessly hop from one fling or relationship to the next, not because they’re particularly amazing, they just happen to like a lot of people. And fair play to them.

For others like me on the other hand, we don’t seem to fancy people as often. Maybe about one person per year. And once we leave education, that’s more like once every 2-3 years. It’s not that we have particularly high standards or obscure criteria. We just don’t often feel that elusive spark.

5 Things You Know If You're A Picky Dater

Here are 5 things all those accused of being “too picky” when dating will be able to relate to.

1. Obsessive Crushes

Sometimes I think it would be nice to fancy more people, so I could be a bit more carefree when dating. Like, perhaps there was one guy I was seeing for a couple of months, it didn’t work out, but I met someone else a few weeks later. Or perhaps I could even line up a few at the same time. Play guys at their own game. But if you’re picky, it doesn’t work like that. You fancy one guy every couple of years. So if you fancy someone, it’s not just a fun fling. You LOVE him. And failed romances take forever to get over.

2. Questioning Your Sexuality

You know the feeling. You meet people. But you never meet anyone you fancy. Perhaps you even meet people who are good on paper… but you just don’t fancy them. So you start to wonder… perhaps I’m actually into girls? (Or guys, depending on what gender you’re usually attracted to). So you try switching genders on your dating apps. But you never fancy any of them either. So you wonder… perhaps I’m asexual? Until once in a blue moon you meet someone and BOOM the spark appears and you realise you’re not.

3. Other People’s Strange Criteria

Some people only date people with degrees. Or sometimes, only people with degrees from certain universities. Some people specify a limit on the number of previous sexual partners a potential date must have. And I’m like, I wish there were enough people I wanted to sleep with for me to get picky about numbers.

4. Off Limits?

A couple of years ago, I reconnected via Facebook with a guy I’d taken a liking to on my gap year. I hadn’t liked anyone for a long time- I’d been on dates, but they all lacked that magic spark- and the moment I started talking to him the sexual chemistry was zinging through the room. Only problem- he had a girlfriend.

“I LIKE SOMEONE!!” I rushed to tell all my friends.

“But… he’s got a girlfriend…”

“BUT… I LIKE SOMEONE!”

(On a serious note though it’s not a great idea to pursue people in relationships)

5. Unwanted Remarks

“You’re being too picky”. Along with “your standards are too high”, and all that. Or perhaps, “Why are you so bothered about height? The guy doesn’t have to be taller!”- from your 5’3″ friend with the 6’3″ boyfriend.

Ultimately though, it’s none of their business. You can’t compromise on passion, and there’s no point being in a relationship where you’re unhappy. Keep being picky, and when you find someone you click with, you’ll appreciate it even more.

 

 

 

 

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35 Comments

  1. I absolutely relate to this post! So glad I am off the dating game but yeah, I was so picky. And rightly so. If you’re going to be with someone for a long time, you deserve the best! xx corinne

    • July 12, 2017 / 8:00 pm

      Good to see your pickiness paid off!

  2. July 12, 2017 / 7:08 pm

    This is such a relatable post. I am so glad that I am out of the dating game at the moment but I definitely would connect to some of these, probably the unwanted remarks from being too picky haha. What is the point in being with someone if you do not click?
    Lois x
    http://www.lifeasloismay.wordpress.com

    • July 12, 2017 / 8:00 pm

      Totally agree!

  3. July 12, 2017 / 7:10 pm

    Ha! I’m that person that crushes once in a blue moon. I found myself agreeing to most of this stuff! But I’m defiantly not the one to discriminate on whether someone has a degree or not! Unique post !

    Shauna “shaunakabana.com”
    http://tinyurl.com/y8e77ky6

    • July 12, 2017 / 8:07 pm

      I’m exactly the same.

  4. July 12, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    I was so picky when I was single but I’m glad I am no longer. Such a great post, not read something like this before x

    • July 12, 2017 / 8:16 pm

      It’s great that you met someone eventually, hopefully there’s hope for me yet!

  5. July 12, 2017 / 7:16 pm

    I relate SO hard to this!! I’ve been on the dating scene since January and I’ve just never managed to find anyone who’s exactly right for me, it really makes me question if there’s something wrong with me!! Ah well, I’m only 18 so I’ve got a lot of time left, just fingers crossed it comes quick!! xxx

    • July 12, 2017 / 8:23 pm

      Ahh you’ve only been single 6 months, that’s nothing- don’t worry about it!

  6. July 12, 2017 / 7:16 pm

    Interesting read! Thankfully ive been in a long term relationship for 2 years but like you I don’t like people often! I hated getting comments about being ‘too picky’
    PaleGirlRambling xo

    • July 16, 2017 / 4:00 pm

      Good to see it’s worked out for you now!

  7. I really relate to this post!! I’ve been on Tinder again since January and just haven’t managed to find anyone who’s perfect for me, I think I’m just looking for someone who doesn’t exist haha! Well, hopefully I’ll find him/her (yep I’m bi, doesn’t make it easier at all!!!) soon, I’m only 18 after all xxx

    • July 16, 2017 / 4:03 pm

      Yep, you’ve got plenty of time!

  8. July 12, 2017 / 7:19 pm

    reading this just reminds me how much I need to be more of a picky dater! I think I’m just too carefree and will just date whoever if they ask me! haha! I mean, of course I am a little picky and don’t fancy them all, but I just go for it anyways!

    • July 16, 2017 / 4:05 pm

      That’s not a bad way to be!

  9. July 12, 2017 / 7:22 pm

    Hehe I have a few friends that I recognise these traits! Cute post! I’m the opposite though, or used to be before I got hitched haha x

    • July 16, 2017 / 4:28 pm

      I’d love to be the opposite!

  10. Gabija
    July 12, 2017 / 7:38 pm

    I relate to this post too much- definitely felt the realms of point number two haha!

    Gabija | everylittlethingblog.weebly.com

  11. Kayleigh Zara
    July 12, 2017 / 7:40 pm

    I can totally understand this post it’s been a while since I dated but when I did I often found myself with issue four on this list! X

    Kayleigh Zara πŸŒ»πŸ‚www.kayleighzaraa.com

    • July 16, 2017 / 4:28 pm

      Don’t we all haha.

  12. Beth Carney
    July 12, 2017 / 7:51 pm

    I relate so much to this from before I was with my boyfriend! Especially getting all the remarks saying I’m too picky!πŸ™„

    Beth – http://bethcarney.com

  13. July 12, 2017 / 7:52 pm

    Some people only date people with degrees.

    This is definitely me, but not for the reasons most people assume. I’m not looking for a high-flying intellectual (although I am strongly attracted to highly-intelligent women), it’s about outlook. Non degree educated women I’ve met tend to have a narrow outlook on life. They have little desire to travel or experience new things and I felt the non-educated women I went on dates with before I met my current gf had a slight sense of entitlement about a man’s place being leader, wallet and “Real Man”. I’ve never got that attitude from educated women. So, in short, it’s about outlook and relationship expectations.

    • July 16, 2017 / 4:35 pm

      I get where you’ve coming from, but I don’t think it’s quite as simple as degree/ no degree- I mean anyone can go to university these days!

      • July 20, 2017 / 8:21 am

        Absolutely agree, but I think there is a different mind-set in degree educated people which is why that criteria is important to me.

  14. cydneyhelsdown
    July 12, 2017 / 8:10 pm

    I could fall in love with a guy I made eye contact with on the tube hahaha. In all seriousness I can fancy someone quite easily but then can turn it off just as easily too. I think I quite like having crushes to fill my boredom but I am picky when it comes to dating, luckily I’ve found the right guy who ticks all my boxes.

    – Cydney x

    • July 16, 2017 / 4:41 pm

      That’s a good way to be I think!

  15. July 13, 2017 / 12:03 pm

    I absolutely love and relate to this post so much! I always get told “just get yourself out there” but I’m only 18 so I feel like I’ve got tons of time yet…πŸ™Š I’ll be sure to keep coming back to this, thank you for sharing!

    Elle -https://ellegracedeveson.wordpress.com/

    • July 16, 2017 / 4:35 pm

      Yep you’ve got plenty of time but no harm in starting young!

  16. Rhyme & Ribbons
    July 13, 2017 / 9:36 pm

    I definitely used to get some super obsessive crushes! X

    Rhymeandribbons.com

    • July 16, 2017 / 3:59 pm

      Haha, hopefully it will happen soon!

  17. July 16, 2017 / 10:09 pm

    Wow what an intriguing post!! I’ve been “taken” since I was 21 and before that I was a bit of a wild child… but it’s worth waiting to settle down until you’ve found someone who fits you perfectly πŸ™‚ before my partner, I wanted fun and with him, I wanted love.

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