Is It OK To Sell Your Virginity?

There’s been a lot of talk in the press as of late about Romanian 18 year old Aleexandra Khefren who is looking to sell her virginity for 1 million Euros.

Instead of doing the classic waiting for the “right guy”, finding a lovely boyfriend at some point in your late teens, having a big debate as to whether you’re “ready” or not before finally doing the deed, Aleexandra decided instead that she would sell her virginity to the highest bidder, and use the money to study at a university abroad and help out her parents.

Here she is on This Morning:

So what’s my point of view on the issue? Well, let’s rewind to a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago. Basically, I’m as conservative as they come when it comes to sex, however I was considering becoming a stripper as I had no idea what else to do with my life after university. We were talking about sex, and suddenly he was like:

“So I get that you don’t want to sleep around, but if that’s the case, why would you have no issue with becoming a stripper?!”

is it ok to sell your virginity aleexandra khefren

My argument was as follows. (Disclaimer: these are just my opinions) I believe that sex is something that should be valued. I disagree with the hook-up culture in our society, and instead believe that sex should be reserved for romantic relationships. If I felt enough for someone to sleep with them, I’d want the sex to mean something to the other party too, and lead into something more serious, and therefore would feel degraded if they then decided to hit and run.

Being a stripper on the other hand is empowering. You look fierce, are admired and feel sexy. Yeah, the guys may brag and make degrading comments to the lads afterwards, but ultimately the stripper has the last laugh… all the way to the bank.

I wouldn’t personally consider being an escort unless I was destitute poor and had a family to feed, but others aren’t as bothered- and they’re the real winners in that situation as they’re the ones making money.

Selling your virginity is ultimately just a more niche form of prostitution, that evidently comes with a higher price tag. I totally agree with Holly Willoughby that virginity is something that should be special, and shared with someone you trust and love (sadly though I think she’d get shouted down if she said that to a group of twenty-somethings). The presenters also raise some valid points (ALWAYS use a condom!). However, at the same time, I’d sleep with anyone for a million Euros.

Once they hit 18 or so (although sometimes even younger), women are shamed for being virgins. They are classed as “losers”, called “frigid”, and told to “get it over with”. So why is it acceptable that women should be told to have sex with a stranger when they don’t want to, and have the man and western society benefit, and gain nothing for herself other than regret and bad memories, yet at the same time it’s unacceptable to her to to sleep with a stranger and gain a million Euros from the experience?

Ultimately, your body is your own. So long as you’re over the age of consent, it’s up to you who you sleep with and in what scenario you want to lose your virginity. And that includes whether it’s love, sex, money, or even never at all.

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29 Comments

  1. December 21, 2016 / 6:20 pm

    It is a very tough one Alice, the case has a lot of pros and cons for and against. Your first time should be special for you and the guy, I wanted to wait for marriage, but was not strong enough to do so. Huggs to you Alice, from Terri x.

    • December 21, 2016 / 8:16 pm

      I’ve seen some couples wait for marriage and be happy, but I think it’s something you’d have to really want as it kinda limits your dating pool to people with the same beliefs.

  2. December 21, 2016 / 8:10 pm

    I watched this a few days ago, and was gobsmacked at her reaction when Philip mentioned about using protection, and that she hadn’t thought of the the std’s she could pick up! I’m agree with everything you have mentioned in this post! I am so glad someone else watched this and has put a blog up on this, as it’s something, I feel, everyone should watch! X

    Karina | http://karinahearts.com

    • December 21, 2016 / 8:15 pm

      Yeah condoms were never mentioned at all in the episode which worried me as perhaps the escort agency doesn’t allow them, but it’s such an important issue!

  3. December 21, 2016 / 8:18 pm

    I completely agree with you. Loosing your virginity should be something shred with a special one. Money shouldn’t even come into the equation in my opinion, and stripping and prostitution are very different things.

    • December 21, 2016 / 8:19 pm

      Totally agree, although some people are happy being an escort so fair play to them.

      • December 21, 2016 / 8:33 pm

        Yeah I guess to each their own. At the end of the day we have all been given free will and we can choose whichever works for us.

  4. December 21, 2016 / 8:18 pm

    I think to sell your virginity, you must be delusional. Also, if you are to buy someones virginity, you must be delusional. Great post!!

    • December 21, 2016 / 8:20 pm

      Haha, well I think she got 2 million euros for it in the end so perhaps not so delusional! Although for her sake I shudder to think about who was willing to pay for it :/

  5. Terri
    December 21, 2016 / 8:20 pm

    Personally I don’t have a problem with casual sex, however selling your virginity is too far. I believe your first time shouldn’t be ‘casual’ and should be with someone you care about. I wouldn’t feel empowered by it, I’d feel used.

    Terri x
    http://www.c0yoteugly.blogspot.com

    • December 21, 2016 / 8:28 pm

      I’d personally feel more used by casual sex, if you sell it at least you get the money!

  6. December 21, 2016 / 8:33 pm

    I haven’t seen this video before but I completely agree, your virginity/sex should be with someone who you love or value, it’s so intimate!! However, if she is comfortable and open with doing so 1 millions pounds, hell yeah!! Xox

    • December 21, 2016 / 8:39 pm

      Haha, that’s my viewpoint exactly!

  7. December 21, 2016 / 8:37 pm

    Sex is such a personal thing and people view it differently depending on their emotions. I like your take on it though! Em x
    themessyedit.co.uk

    • December 21, 2016 / 8:38 pm

      I agree, it’s such a personal thing that everyone’s view is completely different!

  8. December 21, 2016 / 9:02 pm

    Totally agree I think you should loose your virginity to someone you love and see a future with. Pixie x

    • December 21, 2016 / 9:06 pm

      I don’t think it necessarily has to be the person you spend the rest of your life with, but I think it should be in a relationship with someone you trust (disclaimer: just my opinion)

    • FNU MNU LNU
      December 21, 2016 / 9:26 pm

      but its just a fairytale for most of us. not that many people end up with their “first”.

      • December 23, 2016 / 12:05 pm

        I don’t think it is, most of my friends lost their virginity in a relationship!

        • FNU MNU LNU
          December 23, 2016 / 12:13 pm

          i don’t doubt that. but too many get dumped shortly there after. maybe its a cultural thing.

          • December 23, 2016 / 12:40 pm

            Yeah I know that happens, but most of the time those relationships have lasted a while. Maybe not forever, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

  9. December 21, 2016 / 9:44 pm

    This is such an interesting topic, I’ve never thought it but I totally agree. Such an interesting read! x

    • December 21, 2016 / 9:53 pm

      Thanks 🙂

    • December 22, 2016 / 1:24 pm

      Apparently she had to be “checked” by a doctor…

  10. December 22, 2016 / 5:45 pm

    Interesting topic. i think I’ll write about this subject in the future too.

    Just as you yourself said, I find virginity something to be treasured. It’s a matter of character. But I don’t see value in the virginity itself. Rather in that a person treasures it. If someone sees sex as something casual, then how can I trust not to be cheated on behind my back? I’d like to believe I’m special in my partner’s eyes. And the knowing that she’s free from sexually transmittable diseases is always relieving. That’s why virginity is a matter of character in my eyes.

    This girl, whom you mention in the text, I’ve heard of similar stories before. People being willing to pay a lot for a virgin girl. Myself? I don’t see the point in it. Virginity only has an abstract value. It doesn’t have a value in terms of money. So it’s kind of stupid to pay for it in my opinion.

    As for me, I don’t know how things are in the UK (you are from there, yeah?), but for me here in Finland there’s no rush on losing one’s virginity. And I speak as a man here. I’ve yet to be shamed for being a virgin. And yes I am one. Nothing I myself am ashamed of either. I just haven’t found any girls who are on the same side of the track as me. Hence I haven’t feel a need to rid myself of my virginity just to rid myself of it. I just don’t see a point.

    • December 22, 2016 / 7:48 pm

      Haha yes those are good points! I wouldn’t personally say I value virginity, just that I think sex should be valued, and I think for your first time in particular it’s important to feel comfortable with the person.

      Like I said it’s just a niche form of prostitution, like the people who pay for fat women to sit on them. Evidently people are willing to pay more to be the first.

      Don’t move to the UK, there is a strong “virgin-shaming” culture here. And it’s not just restricted to virgins, if you’ve been single for a while and don’t want to have casual sex, you get attacked for that too. But yes, there is no shame in it 🙂

  11. January 1, 2017 / 8:14 pm

    Hi Alice, i really like that you have written about something controversial. My views fluctuate on this I guess, which is a sign you have really prodded my thinking. I like your honesty about where you stand/what you think.

    • January 1, 2017 / 9:47 pm

      Thanks so much, glad you liked the post!

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